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| My Grandma and Grandpa |
So, my grandfather had a stroke around 2014. Then he had another and after that he couldn't speak right. They said he had Aphasia. That's basically where you can't find the right words to complete a sentence or you leave out words without realizing it. Soon, however, he began recalling memories from long ago as if they happened yesterday. Emotions of the events came flooding back to him. Then, he would forget where he was or see the 'Other person.' We never really found out who the other person was but it was enough for us to take him to the hospital.
While there, they gave him an anti-psychotic called 'Haldol.' This seemed to make him sooo much worse. An orderly tried to hold him down...then 2 others. By the time they got him down, this 150lb, 83 year old man had knocked 3 full grown men to the ground.
So, he went to a nursing home because my grandma could NOT handle him on her own.
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| Just Chilling in the hospital after knocking down 3 guys that tried to restrain him. |
Now, something you don't know is that my grandfather was a golfer. He made Golf clubs, has a 'Hole in One' trophy and was the club pro for many years. Well, when the guards finally caught up with him (because he was literally Running) they asked him where he was going. Gramps said, " It's a nice day. I'm going to the Golf Course!" Well, of course he was. But this escape landed him back at the hospital for re-evaluation.
This happened an hour after we dropped him off while we were at lunch.
I had rushed back to the home to see him before he was taken to the Hospital. As I approached I caught a glimpse of his eyes...they were like a wild animal that was scared of it's new surroundings. His pupils were dilated and his looks & movements seemed 'untamed.' The moment I got in front of him and said, "Hey, Gramps...you ok?" His pupils went from black to green, his face un-contorted, and his posture relaxed as he said, " Oh! Jeez! Hey! Yeah, let's go.."
Just an hour ago we had a long conversation explaining that he was staying here now. He understood in that moment. But an hour later, he...did....not.
We had to find another place. We got him in somewhere even nicer with key-code entry to every door. There were multiple checkpoints and a confusing layout that was hard for ME to even navigate.
A few weeks later he escaped through a locked window that had no handles or levers. I had no idea how 'Crafty' he really was.
They got him back within a few hours and moved his bedroom to one that faced a courtyard. So if he did get out again, he would be trapped in an interior courtyard. A month or so passed and I noted his progression the days I visited him. He still recognized me as a familiar person, somewhat spoke to me about our family and made references to my state in life. But he was slowly getting worse. His wording was harder to decipher and the things he brought up were either from the far away past or too random to make sense of. He really wanted to go home though. And we were really considering it until he escaped again.
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| At Christmas wondering what my Dad is doing on his phone. |
It was at this point that the City authorized a full scale, movie style Search and rescue operation. I had never seen anything like it in person. There were fire trucks, cop cars, helicopters, boats, rovers, and over 150 volunteers. Everything was so well-organized and so serious that I immediately felt apologetic and a bit scared. There were multiple sightings and leads and the entire area was divided up into sectors with multiple checkpoints. I found my cousin Randy upon arrival. He and my other cousin Dennis had already been helping.
Randy, his daughter, friend and I took Sector 3. I got a tip from a resident that someone matching his description was seen heading 'that' way. It was a 'No trespassing' road leading almost to the Missouri river and was outside of our sector. We went down and came across a Water treatment plant beyond some railroad tracks. I had a feeling that he saw the railroad tracks and thought, 'These lead to downtown St. Louis. I'll follow them until I see something familiar. We walked those arduous tracks in both directions and found nothing. It was getting late so we decided to go back and check in.
We met him at the hospital and when he heard Randy and I's voices he started crying and was so pleased and happy that he was found and that 2 people he knew where there to great him.
He was dehydrated, sun burnt, had a couple scrapes and tears but was otherwise OK.
For the first few days he slept in the hospital and healed up. Then he became more active and started trying to leave the hospital. They had to put restraints on him because of this. Remember how I said he was 'Crafty?' Well, twice he convinced me to take off one of his restraints so he could either use the restroom, or see if he could walk. He never had to use the restroom and he knew he could walk. Because, each time I took off 'One' restraint he was able to immediately remove the other, get up and start walking to the door to get out.
They had no choice but to put him on medicine again. Medicine that lasted until he got back to the nursing home. When it wore off he got up, got dressed, walked to the dining room and said, 'I'm hungry!'
Due to the dehydration, a fall, and the trauma of this major escape his speaking got worse, his words were ever harder to find and his escapes had definitely gotten less funny.
I had to finally come to the full realization that my grandfather has Alzheimer's and he will not get better. There is no cure, there is nothing to ease it and we all have to have our Hope ripped out of us each time he forgets our names.....again.
The continuity of this re-occurrence has taken its toll on us all. They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result. The problem is, Alzheimer's CAN give you a different result every-time. But you still get hurt no matter what. Some call this insanity, I call it love.
This is my 3rd grandparent to struggle through old age. Each one had a traumatic effect on me. But at least the others could reciprocate my love in their eyes. This though....this disease will only offer you a blank stare of empty emotion. You are nothing to them....and then all of a sudden, you are everything.
After his 'BIG' escape they had to kick him out of the nursing home. As he was being re-evaluated in the hospital he took a nose-dive. I remember (even now, so vividly) sitting by his side in the hospital room; telling him that I'm trying to fight this disease he has, that I'm trying to DO something to help him. I also remember saying please don't go....try to get better, you don't know this but you have a great-grandchild on the way....and I'd love for you to meet him. He was knocked out but at that moment when I told him about my future son, his hand moved towards mine and he made a verbal 'sigh of happiness.'
The Walk to End Alzheimer's gave me a giant flood of support. Seeing thousands of people laughing, crying, walking & chanting in unison made me realize I'm not alone in this. My family is not alone in this, and my Grandmother isn't alone. There are soo many people that are trying to help and it's the best feeling to know that even though there is no cure, we are here...willing and waiting to help.
Gramps, died just two days after the walk. It's as if he wanted to wait until the Walk was over, to go. He wanted to ensure he was in attendance for his grandson's event...one final time.
This is why I became a part of the Alzheimer's Association and support the St. Louis Walk to End Alzheimer's. Because we are not suffering alone.
Please support the Walk to End Alzheimer's. It helps fund research to cure this growing disease. The St. Louis Walk is ___________________. You can donate here, join my team or make a team for yourself.
If there is even an iota of change we can make to this, why wouldn't you?
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