How networking sites are like parties.

Before the days of the internet, people would host a get together, gathering, party, or gala.  They would plan outfits, practice their etiquette, write invitations and emphasize presentation.  During the event, the host would make sure to converse with all their guests and introduce people to each other. Their job was to make sure everyone was comfortable physically and mentally by providing food and drink and helping to stimulate intellectual conversation. The guest would then be obligated to complement the host and engage with the other guests.

In this day and age, these events have been lost on the technological youth (myself included). We don’t go to events and practice the customs our grandparents once did. We attend online galas and participate in RSS feeds and even chat rooms (if they are still around).

The physical ‘third place’ has been diminished to an online interaction. So, we must compare physical parties to social networking sites. Think about it, you don’t need to go to class reunions when you have Facebook. There is not much need for a corporate networking event when you can join a LinkedIn group and socialites tweet about.  So for those who miss the old style gatherings, here is a guide for social networking sites and how you can ‘attend’ them online.

Facebook: It’s like going to a high school or family reunion where you can converse with people you haven’t seen in years. It’s a more personal gathering of people and you feel more open to expressing your true self.  At first you send them messages and see what they are up to but then you realize you don’t have much in common besides the fact that you knew each other at one point. So you maintain them as your friend, read their updates, but don’t really interact with them because they keep asking you to participate in their Zynga games or continuously express their political stances. Eventually, you remove them in a mass friend cleansing. Months or a year later you see them in your ‘people you may know’ list and repeat the process, only to feel a sickening Deja’ Vu.  Soon your interactions seem watered down and you slowly stop participating as you move on to a more interesting network party.

LinkedIn: Have you ever gone to a corporate networking event where like-minded business associates collaborate to hand out business cards and vie for your partnerships? This is what a LinkedIn party is all about. Associates go around introducing themselves handing out information with the hopes that one of their new contacts will provide them with a better job or a sale. As time goes on you find answers for support issues and marketing schemes to help grow your business.  This is the party you go to, to plug yourself, your business, and your career.  Walking out of this you usually come out with a list of connections and only a handful of legitimate contacts. Not to worry! You have connected with so many people that you start to turn into a socialite! Next stop Twitter!

Twitter: Imagine going to a party of interesting people who consistently intrigue you with one-liners and quips. This is the socialite gala event where everyone has a new piece of information that is brought to you by the open-ended question, ‘have you heard about this..?’ These people know a lot but in most cases haven’t researched but one or two things beyond on what they are speaking.  There is so much information going around that you get lost in the continuous feeds. If you don’t keep up you will lose your flock and won’t get the ‘promoted’ follow-ship you were once so proud of.

At this point, you want to move on to another style of party, but are tired of the one’s you’ve already been to. Now is when you get creative and join something called:

Google+: This is the underdog of social networking parties. It combines the same setup as all the other parties you’ve been to but seems a little bit worldlier. This gathering is hit or miss. It can be like going to a banquet or casino in Monaco with interesting travelers and fun atmospheres that entice you to return. On the flip side, it can be a party where you don’t know anyone and are consistently bored throughout the evening. It’s the kind of event that depends on your mood. You could be the life of the party and stimulate others or stand in the corner and people watch. The only thing different about this gathering is that it’s hosted by one of the most important engines in the business, and you feel obligated to keep going, with hopes that your friends will follow you.

Those are the most popular events you have been to, but there are some 'other' intriguing ones as well. The ‘High Fidelity’ friends are popping up on Tumblr, Tsu or Ello. Your photography group is constantly showing you their new work on Instagram or VSCO.  Your crafty friends (who always invite you to their fairs or gallery shows) are on Etsy or Pinterest. You're 'know it all groups' are correcting your gramarr on Reddit or showing you how to do something on YouTube, Vimeo or Vevo.  

You can always find new groups of people to hang out with online, and each of them are similar to group events you have been to in real life. You get an invite, converse with others, deliberate, send thank you’s and in the future you relate to past events. 

All of these gatherings are still happening in real life, yet we attend the supplemental events that are available to us online. This, however, does not exclude us from the formalities of accepting invitations, commenting on posts, and following a person’s work. Whether in person or online, we are obligated to attend parties with some sense of formality even if it has receded beyond the norms of yesteryear. Remember that online you can hurt your reputation just as much as you could in real life. So please have a sense of decency and don’t pretend like every party is a toga party.